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The gold standard to help your dog through successful treatment of separation anxiety is gradual systematic desensitization training. This approach is based on the behavioral principle that with repeated non-threatening exposure to a stimulus (in this case, being left alone), a dog will learn to tolerate the situation. In other words, your dog can learn to be calm and happy when home alone!
You might be familiar with desensitization in dogs as part of a behavior modification program along with counter-conditioning for issues like reactivity, for example. With separation anxiety, gradual desensitization by itself has proved to be what works.
Counter-conditioning (replacing something that creates negative emotions/negative reaction with something good and a positive reaction/positive association - such as raining treats or other reward based techniques when a scary bike appears) doesn't work with separation anxiety.
The only reinforcement your dog wants is not to be alone, to have you or another human present. Hence, desensitization to gradually get your dog's emotional response to be relaxed when no one is around.
So let's dive in and get started with desensitization - exactly what it is and how to go about it with your dog.
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Definition: An evidence-based technique in which the learner (your anxious, fearful dog) is gradually exposed to an anxiety inducing object, event, or place in a predictable manner to help the learner slowly overcome an extreme fear or phobia.
Or more plainly: It's giving your dog gradual exposure to the idea of being alone in predictable baby steps so your pup's emotional response is to find it boring. Then slowly adding more challenging and realistic scenarios based on your dog's behavior.
Pre-departure cues are signs your dog notices you do before leaving the house that clue your dog in to the fact that you're about to leave.
This could be picking up your keys, putting on a jacket, or getting your bag ready. Anything that is different from the normal routine that triggers your dog that something's up.
For some dogs with separation anxiety, these cues matter a great deal. They can send your dog into a tailspin of anxiety long before you've even left the house. Other dogs may not react much to pre-departure cues until you're actually out the door and leaving.
If pre-departure cues are a problem for your pup, jump to the previous guide here where we learned how to make leaving boring for your dog.
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Assess your dog to establish your dog's starting threshold for alone-time and a PDQ hierarchy (pre departure cues: your dog's triggers to realize you're leaving).
Before any training session with desensitization techniques, observing and establishing YOUR dog's anxiety stimulus hierarchy and timing is critical. Every dog is different. Other dogs who have separation anxiety will have different anxiety stimuli and timing thresholds than your dog.
Notes will help you determine threshold and more easily see progress in helping your dog cope along the way. Also helpful for a trainer if you bring one on to know when/why your dog is likely to respond negatively, etc. You'll be creating a plan for one dog - yours - not for other dogs who may share a similar fearful response and negative feelings, so we want as much accurate evidence as possible.
Watch for excessive vocalization, jumping/scratching at doors, any signs of destruction. If your dog has a history of accidents or self-harm return at first signs of stress from your dog.
(You can make your notes after you're back while still fresh in your mind since things can happen quickly in the moment as you're watching your dog.)
Start with periods of time your dog can handle without any fear or stress signs, and gradually add in more difficult situations while maintaining a safe level of comfort.
If at any point during your training sessions you see regression in behavior or an increase in fear/stress related behaviors, slow down the rate of exposure or try a different method entirely.
There is no one-size-fits all when it comes to separation anxiety, so be patient, observant and creative in finding what works for your dog!
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If your dog is overly stressed at any point, you've moved too fast. Go back to an easier step that your dog can handle with zero stress responses.
Start with the door open and gradually close it as your dog becomes more comfortable. If progress stalls or regressions occur, don't hesitate to go back to a previous step that your dog was comfortable with and try again.
If you have multiple people in your home, each person should take part in the desensitization process so your dog can get used to all types of comings and goings.
Remember, this is a marathon not a sprint. Each dog is different and will progress at their own pace. Be patient and consistent with your training, and try to stay positive!
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If you'd like to see what my training plans look like (looks different for every dog... could be wait 35 seconds, could be return at 27 minutes) and what normal progress looks like, you can see both plus videos of actual separation anxiety home-alone assessments, and Q&A from dog parents like you in the video of this live session above covering all this information.
And if you haven't already, you might also want to take a look at all my separation anxiety guides and videos on Dogly in the Anxiety Channel. Just click Separation Anxiety when you get there.
Now that you've started to learn how to desensitize your dog to you leaving the house, you're well on your way to helping your dog with separation anxiety. Go back to the beginning of this separation anxiety series and learn the signs of separation anxiety or jump to other step-by-step guides in the Anxiety Channel and start teaching your dog how to stay calm outside of the house.
Hop over to the Anxiety Channel if you'd like to ask any of the Dogly Training Advocates who are all certified dog trainers a question in the Community discussion or start any of the step-by-step guides in Environment Anxiety, Crate Anxiety, or Understanding Anxiety.
And if you ever need more personalized training help, please reach out to work with me one-on-one here on Dogly!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this website and community is based on the research, expertise, and views of each respective author. Information here is not intended to replace your one-on-one relationship with your veterinarian, but as a sharing of information and knowledge to help arm dog parents to make more informed choices. We encourage you to make health care decisions based on your research and in partnership with your vet. In cases of distress, medical issues, or emergency, always consult your veterinarian.